that I was being
followed monitored judged desired by
the best surveillance man in the business
that he could tell I wanted him
even when I looked a picture of normality
that his dark gaze could pierce me
whenever he turn't it toward me
and never often enough.
that everything I did had an audience
that the secret significance of my actions
had someone to appreciate them.
of chemtrails and HAARP arrays
and distant lovers,
desirous of my scent like the old stasi
aching for an excuse to render me